How to cope with judgemental people? Most of us face different types of questions from morning to evening. Some questions are related to our professional life and some are related to our personal life.
These questions are from our relatives, family members, colleagues and society. But Basically, the question from judgemental people are more pricked in our hearts.
These judgemental people do not come from any special class of society. But they are every we’re. In our house, friend circle, in society, and our community.
They have no work to do. They only have work to make a judgment about you or any person. Without knowing about his condition, his past and present, and his life.
They create an image of anyone in their mind as per what they think about them. We all do this. And it’s a natural phenomenon.
But the problem comes. When they propagate the image of their mind over the whole society. While that image is fuzzy. So, to better understand. I would give you an instance of my childhood.
Every summer we are going to visit our grandparents’ house in the village. In the morning four or five friends of my grandfather regularly came to discuss the village matters. One day they saw me.
They asked my grandfather, hey this is your grandson, who is studying in town.
My grandfather replied yes.
They call me hey boy come here.
I went and said “salamwalekum” and they said “walekumAssalam”
They said to my grandfather. You teach very well to your grandson to give regard to your elder”
The second friend asked me in which class I read.
I replied in class v
Then the third friend asked me ” Then translate this sentence from Hindi to English”
I was shocked because a faster round of questions was asked to me in the early morning. I have not answered that question.
Now they said to my grandfather. This boy is studying in town in an English school and could not translate a sentence. He is very poor. Your son wastes his money on it. He does not pay attention to his children.
The next day when they came they called me. Hey, the son came here, that day they also repeated the same question. And I gave the correct answer. The version of them was changed. Now they appreciated me and my father.
The motive behind telling this short story is to explain it to you. How judgemental people are. Give their judgment without understanding the feelings and conditions of anyone. They give their judgment according to their understanding. Their Judgment is not based on reasoning and facts.
Their judgment is based on their experience, attitude, and emotion. They are negatively biased people. Which lives with negativity, and spreads it over the whole society. So to cope with judgemental people is essential.
8 ways to cope with judgemental people.
1. Be offensive-
Generally, when we meet with judgemental people. Due to their cross-questioning on our pain points of life. We feel restless or panic. We do not decide that. What answers do we give to their questions? And we get defensive.
And due to the defensive approach, they dominate us. The judgemental people are so dominating in nature. And because they are our colleagues, family members and relatives. So they know about our weaknesses and secrets. So they always prick needles in our wounds.
And we get defensive because we do not want to accept our faults. And whenever we do not accept our faults. People will always try to manipulate us. And will always let us down.
So be offensive, when we accept our faults or mistakes like we accept our fame. Nobody tries to manipulate us. And give judgment on our doing. Because we accept our weaknesses.
Like if your father’s friend says, you have not found campus placement, but my son will get it. Why did it happen? Were your grades not good or you didn’t concentrate on studying?
Do not panic. Relax, say to him, yes uncle, I did not get selected in campus selection. My grade is also low. But I have faith in my hard work and god. So, I am sure that I will meet with you with a packet of sweets in the next two or three months.
2. Do not take personal-
Like the above instance. Why do we take the blame or ridicule so hard that we destroy or halt our journey? Why do we listen to these types of people? Those always try to temper our life.
So, a better way to cope with these judgemental people is to listen to their words from one ear and out them from the other ear. Means not to take it personally. You saw that after some time they did not question you.
3. Try to forgive-
Forgiveness is the biggest charity.
It keeps you away from anger, regret, revenge, and miseries. So, to take revenge on judgemental people makes us judgemental.
The feeling of revenge. Fill us with greed, selfishness, fear, and anger. And for taking revenge we use many tricks. Which encourages us to adopt many wrong ways. And we slowly-slowly engulfed ourselves into the bog of greed and jealousy.
So, try to forgive your opponents or the people who discourage you. It will raise your height in the eyes of people and gives you a name or fame. And once your height is raised, your opponent’s height will go down. So, this is the best answer to your opponents.
4. Take it like a life lesson-
You can take the moment of meeting with judgemental people as a life lesson. First, it helps to increase your archive of experience. Second, it helps you to counter them. Because the weaknesses of these people are that. They always use the same pattern of questioning.
So, to understand their pattern of questioning. You can prepare these questions for the future. Therefore when they start cross-questioning you. You can give them the best answer. Or you prepare to pass out these questions. So by taking it as a life lesson, you can handle the situation easily.
5. Maintain your level-
Always try to maintain your level during the confrontation. Because it is very much sure that in anger we do that thing. Which we do not have to do.
And for that, we live our full life with regret. Like, it is not always possible. Judgemental People have become unaware of you. Or You are unaware of him. He can be your brother too. She could be your wife too. Or he could be your friend with whom you have to sit for days.
So, by maintaining your level. You can easily counter your nearest one and save your relationship. Because we have to live in this society and with our families.
6. Do not trust their word-
Never trust their words. Always keep their word on the point of your shoes. And kick them when it is wrong. Because a wrong word is like a slow poison. Which kills you and your relationship slowly-slowly.
This is the prime culprit behind the misconception between husband and wife, brothers, and sisters. In the office between colleagues. So never trust the word of judgemental people.
7. Win your fear-
To be defensive against judgemental people is our fear. The fear of revealing secrets. Fear of revealing weakness. And the fear of our opponent.
Because of this, we do not give them proper answers. So win your fear and then start to counter them. Simply accept your fault. And if you are wrong, say sorry and move forward.
And if you’re not wrong, do not be afraid. So, be cool and firmly stand behind what you are and what you want to say.
Win your fear, win your target
If you love yourself. You never come under the influence of judgemental people. Because you know your weakness and strength. You know how to answer those people.
You know how to win over your weakness. And how to exploit your strengths. You can know how to manipulate others according to your desire. So self-loved people are never exploited by others. Whenever they exploit others.
There are 8 ways to cope with judgemental people. Always be offensive, love yourself, win over your fear, do not trust their words, maintain your level, take it like a life lesson, try to forgive, be offensive, and last but not least do not take their comment personally.
I know it is very difficult to cope with these people. But for a prosperous life, you have to do it. You may have to divide your response into three parts.
First, if you have power or you are more powerful than your opponent, you can give them answers powerfully.
Second, if you’re not able to give them an answer with your power. Then humbly tell them that you’re wrong.
Third, if you are not able to do that. Then think in your heart that he is wrong. And avoid them.
Never be judgemental, accept only facts.