Feelings like irritation, annoyance, anger, guilt and fear always surround him. These feelings of theirs keep them prisoner and they are not able to live freely.  

It is a good thing to be insensitive to the environment around us, but more insensitivity prevents us from becoming better human beings.

  But some people are so emotional that they take even the smallest things to heart. It’s not wrong to be emotional. This is a very important human factor, but too much sentimentality sometimes causes harm.  

 

Not being able to handle your emotions in any adverse environment increases the problem.   It often happens that we think something else is happening, but it is quite the opposite happening.

 Some People take this thing easily, while some get impulsive and sometimes in anger they do their harm.

 Similarly, sadness or despair are also such feelings, which if overpowering, leave a bad effect.  That is why it is very important to understand your symptoms and control them.

  How do we face it?

 When we find ourselves stuck in adversity, then an unwanted fear starts growing in our hearts, due to which our brain starts giving us signals to be aggressive. 

 

 This happens so that we can handle those adverse situations according to ourselves. But, this method is not completely correct.

 

In fact, instead of being aggressive in adverse situations, it is necessary to act with restraint. So, the problem can be solved with a calm mind.  

 

For example, when we do not agree with someone, we express our disagreement in different ways. Some people take their stand by exercising restraint, while some others get involved in the debate. 

 Some are hurt by the opposite opinion and keep getting angry. 

The better way is to try to find out the reason for something that is not according to your mind.  

Then try to understand how much effect that thing is going to have on your life. 

 

Let’s try to understand it, with other examples. If someone arrives late during your presentation. Your face will clearly show anger and people will feel that you are nervous and strict.

  But, if you have told everyone that you were in the army before then they will know what time means to you. Being open and wanting to know is a two-way street.  

 

You should know more about people. So that they do not misjudge you. Ask people questions about them and show your interest in their answers too. 

  As much as possible, do not ask questions that judge people. For example, if you ask someone, “Why have you studied Philosophy after all?”, the front will start feeling inconvenienced and defensive. 

   Instead of asking like this, you should ask – “Wow! Philosophy. What do you like most about this?” Your tone will sound friendly and he will also treat you in a friendly way.

 

Somewhere it is not that you are the only one. Give your strong reaction to unnecessary things. Also, assess what is the place of the person who has hurt you in your life.

  The point is, is that person really important enough to take something to heart or can it be remembered as a bitter experience and left behind for a while?

 

You may use a 10-second technique given by Daniel Goleman. To control your anger. 10 seconds rule is the best.

  And this rule is very simple – whenever you feel that you are getting angry then sit comfortably and start counting from 1 to 10.  

 

This technique is very effective, even very angry and impulsive people found this technique very helpful.

  To practice this, first, you should recognize the first signs of anger such as uptightness, feeling of tension in the muscles or degeneracy.

 

  It is only after these symptoms that the real danger begins. But as soon as you see these symptoms, immediately start doing 10 seconds of exercise and then you will see how you can control your anger.

 

 When you understand the answers to these questions by yourself, then you will find that no person or situation can dominate you. So much that you lose control of your emotions.

 

In short:

 

• The problem should be solved calmly.

• Listen to others concentratedly.

• Understand other feelings.

• Practice the 10-second technique. To control anger.

• Practice Emotional Intelligence. To understand the answer to the above questions by himself.

  Be aware

  How to be saved from being a prisoner of very hot feelings, but wouldn’t it be better if you get this situation before it comes? If you learn this art, then you will be more peaceful and happy in life. 

 

 And it is not a difficult task. All you have to do is change the way you think. You may have some trouble in the beginning, but with continuous effort, this goal can be achieved. 

 

 But, this does not mean that you should stop expressing your feelings. It is very important to express what we feel, good or bad. 

 But, there should not be such a thing, which always pricks like a tease in some corner of the heart. 

 This means that if you are sad or angry about something, of course, show to the other person that you are hurt by his action, or you do not agree with him. 

 But, then that matter should be left there because life is full of ups and downs.  The person with whom you are angry today may play an important role in your life tomorrow. 

 

The best example of this is our family’s problems. Mohan and Sohan are brothers. They have a good relationship. One day there was a quarrel between them.

Sohan was responsible for the quarrel. But he didn’t admit it, and blamed Mohan for this and put a condition for patch up.

If Mohan says sorry for this then I patch up. Now Mohan is in a dilemma, first, his ego is coming forward in saying sorry without his fault. Second, if he does not say sorry his relationship will end. And third, How to make Sohan realize his mistake in this?

 

Mohan has control over his emotion, so he says to Sohan “Look, I can understand why you did this, but I was also a little mistaken, but what about blaming each other?  Now let’s end the fight because you are a good brother”

 

In his conversation, he expresses his love for his brother, makes Sohan realize his mistake,  and cleverly accepts also his fault.

 

 Therefore, always keep the behaviour in such a way, which is neither harmful to you in future nor does it make you very emotional. 

 

In short:

 

• Change the way of thinking. i.e positive thinking

• Express your feelings, sadness, and anger. But in a controlled way.

• Don,t be an Emotional fool.

• React after evaluating all the consequences.

 Express yourself

Some people are so introverted that they can not even speak their mind to the person in front, no matter how much it hurts them. This is not right. 

 By not expressing oneself, slowly, bad thoughts start accumulating in the mind, which starts pouring out on others in the form of annoyance and fret.

Compromise is the best example, generally in India. People teach their daughters to compromise the situation. Because she is “paraya dhan”.

But the consequences of the compromise are in front of us. In form of rape, domestic violence, and acid attraction.

She is so afraid of even her family members. She hesitates to tell anything, what she faces in her marriage life, school life, and surroundings.

The basket of all the respect of the family remains on the head of the girls.

If we want to teach our daughters, Teach them to express their feelings, pain, and sadness vigorously.

 

 Every time you don’t need to be taking something in the wrong way.  Sometimes there is a difference between our point of view and the one in front, which can be understood only through conversation.

 

 In such a situation, there is a need to listen to others, to stand your ground with firmness and restraint. 

 See, when we express love, joy and happiness openly, then we should also express feelings like pain, sadness and despair so that there is no doubt about anything in the mind and we can enjoy life with an open heart.

 

In short:

 

• Don’t be an extra introvert.

• Stand on your words firmly and restrain.

• Compromise is good but to an extent.

• Express your sadness and despair.

• Never hide your feelings, it changes you into an atom bomb.

So, to listen to yourself and live freely is the best formula for a simple life. Because if you once have mastery in listening to your consciences. Then you never face difficulty in making decisions and live your life with joy.

Best of luck.

Related article:

 

How do we choose our happiness? And the 7 ways to choose.

Why do we fail in adopting new habits? The reason is our 4 tendencies.