No one else is more necessary than you. There is such a person around you too, who starts blaming every mistake or bad incident on his head? I am one of those people. Who blames himself for all the faults in my life.
Human nature is such that when something bad happens, we start blaming ourselves for it. Here some will raise the question: We do not blame ourselves for any fault.
And I met personally with various people who did not blame themselves.
But when I met with that person. When they are in a difficult phase of life, they blame themselves or start talking about past bad doings.
The real test of life is in the difficult phase of life. Acceptance of your weakness is other things and blame yourself is other things
Acceptance helps to win the battle of life and blame is the reason behind the give up.
So according to my personal view, when a person suffers from miseries. It broke him, all the lack of life attacked him together.
Because he was weak at that time. Now his all so-called near one leaves him. He has no one left to share his pain.
In his loneliness, he starts thinking about his past trauma, fears and regret. Start blaming himself for all the miseries.
Psychologists and psychoanalysts come across many such people every day, who come to them carrying their bitter childhood memories and pain.
These bitter childhood experiences turn into depression and stress as they grow up. By the way, what kind of person we will become when we grow up, also depends to a great extent on our childhood.
When a child’s emotional needs are not met or love is not met in childhood, when he grows up, he starts turning into a rough and lonely person.
He starts to feel that he is responsible for every bad incident that happens in his life because if it was not for this, his childhood too would have been happy and loving like the rest of the children.
To demolish yourself and devalue yourself is the biggest mistake of life. Because If you consider yourself inferior, others will consider you inferior.
Blaming yourself does not have any solution to the problem. Rather it will increase your problem by demoralising you. So believe that no one else is more necessary than you.
These are some points that help you to thicken your belief that no one else is more necessary than you.
Do not dedicate yourself to pleasing others.
We are taught from an early age that obeying elders is a sign of being good and insistence is a bad thing.
But, we start forgetting that we also have someone of our own. Existence likes and dislikes.
Then, our only objective is how to keep others happy. And in this effort, we start crushing our desires.
As a result, instead of being happy, our conscience starts emptying. When this situation persists for a long time, we start cutting ourselves off. Forgetting that self-satisfaction is necessary before others.
So utilise yourself as much you can afford mentally or physically. Because no one values your time and your money.
Whenever you do not show and say them. If you do not want to do any work, say sorry.
There is an old saying. If a diamond will not be carved, people consider it a stone. So if you do not value yourself, and do not show it to all the people, then people will also consider you like a stone.
Do not indulge in the maze of I am good and I am bad.
when a person puts himself behind and gives priority to the happiness of others., then gradually his mind and personality get divided into two parts.
A part of the person, who talks pleasantly in front of others, and a part of the personality, who knows that he is not getting happiness by doing so.
But, for fear of the displeasure of others, he is never able to express himself. A person trapped in this situation is facing a very difficult dilemma because the conflict between good and bad parts of his inner self starts disturbing the mental peace.
The result of loneliness, self-confidence, feelings like lack and not considering oneself as capable start taking home in the mind.
I am the elder brother of four brothers and sisters of my parents. Due to the early death of my parents, all the responsibility is on me.
So as a responsible person in my family, I make many decisions. Some members of my family are happy (Especially those people in whose favour the decision is taken) and some are not.
But overall they blame me. Previously when I heard it I did all my trying to solve their grievances.
But one I solved the other raised. So after evaluation, I find that it is worthless to put my effort into rectifying myself. So I use my energy to make a decision that is best for the whole family.
One thing which I understood was that one person can never live up to everyone’s expectations. So it is better to make decisions and do work, which is ethically and morally right and according to present circumstances. Whatever it is right or wrong given another.
No one is bad or good. It is decided by his act and situation.
Keep your side.
The world is deaf and blind. To survive here you must have to fight for yourself. And for the capability to fight, your belief in yourself must be intense. If you always blame yourself your morals will be down.
When a person never speaks strongly, then the more difficult it is for the person in front to digest it, the more difficult it is for that person to keep his word.
He doesn’t know if people who like his habit of always giving yes to others will think of him as a rebel! But, once you dare to keep your point firmly, then, believe me, your mind will get stronger, the feeling of your existence will be incomparable.
As I mentioned above, the world is deaf and blind. So you have to indulge a power in your words when you speak. Even heard to the deaf.
And this work is not done by saying louder. But it should be done to firmly put your words in front of others. When you speak, your words and expressions should complement each other. Confidence should be shown in your speech.
Change not because of others but due to your needs.
The bitter truth of life is that you cannot satisfy everyone. It may be that some of your qualities are found to be demerits or some bad habits of yours are pleasing to someone.
For example, if someone is very tall, then also he is trolled a lot and if someone is of short stature, then people make fun of him too.
Unnecessary, we are often too influenced by the opinions of others. Instead of getting upset with these things, it is better to remain as they are. Don’t change yourself to please someone.
The best way to cope with this situation is to welcome all opinions but do what you want to do? What is perfect for you? And what is the demand of the situation?
Because no one knows you better than yourself. But not taking any opinion is also not a good approach. It makes you more introverted. Be open to every piece of advice but do act according to your needs and instinct.
Believe that you are essential not only for yourself but for society.
People who always take care of others often start ignoring themselves. ‘My happiness lies in the happiness of others, it sounds good, but taking this thing into my real life has quite the opposite effect.
By doing this, your mental peace is disturbed, and the expectations of other people also increase.
Living with this approach is good for some time but when we move in our life. We encounter various ups and downs. Life is not a steel rod that will always be straight up. Life is like a roller coaster with a lot of turns. Sometimes it will be sweet, sometimes it will be bitter.
And what I say about expectation, is the main reason behind our sorrow. We are not able to fulfil all our expectations. How we fulfil others.
So, don’t hesitate to consider yourself important and never ignore your needs. When you consider yourself necessary, then only you will be able to take care of yourself and be py too.
If you feel happy from the inside and feel strong, you also keep others happy. Have you ever heard that a depressed and downhearted person spreads happiness?
So believe in yourself, understand your importance for yourself and society and make yourself strong. Because a huge tree can give shade and shelter to all.
Believe in yourself.
The long-time troubled person gradually starts losing faith in himself, because sometimes the time of crisis seems so long that the person starts losing his courage.
It becomes his compulsion to follow the opinion of others. But, if you have strong faith in yourself, then the situation can be handled. Remember, our belief in ourselves creates our reality.
That is, our confidence and strong willpower work to give shape to our dreams. Do not under any circumstances let your faith be deterred from you.
Do not hesitate to say NO.
It is very easy to say no to any person outside, but the dilemma arises in front of us when we have to say NO to our close person and our relatives.
The reason for more than half of our troubles in our life is our near ones. Because they know our weaknesses and strengths.
So it is very easy to hurt the ones near. So let everyone know that I am not a dustbin to collect all the garbage of others.
I do what I want to do, I fulfil anyone’s desire when I want, and according to my capacity. I am not a puppet that dances according to others’ desires.
Simple fundas of life “My life, My way, My choice”
Always live with the thought that no one else is more necessary than you. To awaken this thought, you have to not dedicate yourself to pleasing others, do not indulge in the maze of I am good and I am bad, keep your side, Change not because of others but due to your needs.
Believe that you are essential not only for yourself but for society, believe in yourself, and do not hesitate to say no.
Best of luck.