5 steps to conquer your Inner Critic. You may notice that. We start some work with energy. But after a few days, our willpower will be distributed. We will get confused, bored, and procrastinate on that work or towards our goal.
For example, when we start a weight loss program. We start it with full josh but after a few days, all of our josh will be frozen. The same thing happens when we go to study.
We get distracted and confused from our studies within a few hours. And we also same problem in our office. We get feared and restless because of our past failures in some projects And we give many excuses to our boss. When he wants your help with a new project.
What is an inner critic?
So in simple words, inner criticism is our inner judge. Which criticize, demean, and appreciate our work. According to our personality, beliefs, and behavior. It is our subpersonality. Which hinders us in all our activities. But then when our inner judge decides without checking whether inner criticism is objectively justified or not.
A highly active inner critic demeans our emotions and self-esteem. It plays a vital role in the making of the personality or identity and emotion of the people. It may be the instructor who always shows you your fault.
Sometimes we become our own worst enemy. Before people say anything, the inner critic inside us starts to interrupt us. And we start feeling doubts about ourselves. Yes, our confusion, fear, restlessness, and excuses all are our inner critics. No alienated thing gets the reason for these things. The villain is hidden in us. And it is one of our parts. Which is full of negativity and suspicion.
We give a lot of love and respect to others. But we are afraid to give the same love and respect to ourselves. We feel like we are becoming selfish. If seen, sometimes we deal strictly with ourselves. By comparing ourselves to others, we strangle our happiness. It is our inner critic who interrupts us to talk.
To better understand what is an inner critic. I will want to share the story of Shabana. Shabana is a young girl who has grown up in a family where physical appearance, and the external beauty of a person, are given a lot of value.
This was the reason that she was conscious of her figure from the beginning. Her inner critic always made her feel insecure about her beauty. She had never seen herself through her own eyes. But she used to judge her personality from the point of view of others.
When people were attracted to her beauty and used to praise her, especially boys, she liked it very much. This was the meaning of love for Shabana. But when she came to the age of 40. All her misunderstandings were cleared.
She realized the external beauty and brilliance. She used to give so much importance was not her real personality. It was just her physical appearance. The real personality was hidden inside her. But for such a long time he had gotten used to living with her insecurities. So this habit was not going to leave her so easily.
Because when it becomes overpowering, it damages our self-esteem and compassion towards ourselves. So it happens that the more we pay attention to these negative comments.
The more we will find them real. And the biggest thing is that. It is not an outsider. But it is hidden inside us. So controlling and managing it is also in our hands. It’s the same. So how about if we take it as a motivator instead of a destructor? It will be great. So for this, you can take 5 steps to conquer your inner critic.
5 steps to conquer your inner critic.
1. Use the power of regret-
We all have a past. And we all did some wrong in our past. Sometimes we may have lost, sometimes we may have been cheated, and sometimes others have been cheated by us.
Because of that, a voice sitting in our minds does not deter us from giving negative comments on every aspect of life. Because the bad experience and regret of the past are hidden behind the negative comments of this voice.
So whenever we try to do something new or want to achieve our goals. Then this voice starts warning us in a way. Like if you fail, what will people say? Or if you can’t achieve your goals? What will people say?
Knowingly or unknowingly, our inner critic starts controlling our life. Our past regret becomes the judge of our life. And take decisions on behalf of us. Like if someone cheated us, then every time our inner critics give us a warning. Whether the next one is wrong or right. Our regret fills us with suspicion and misconception. We think everybody is cheating on me.
So it destroys our life. The better way to counter the regret of the past. Use the power of regrets. You can use two methods for that.
First, ‘at least’. I always cheat in love, but at least I want to make a new relationship.
Second, ‘if only’. If only I proposed to her I would be in a relationship with her.
These two sentences show how we should think at the time of regret. At least it is a pain killer. Most people use it. On another hand, “if only” is painful for us today. But it motivates us for tomorrow. Because we know about our faults. So use first for the short run and second for the long run.
It is better to learn from the past than regret it.
2. Use the WLQD(write, listing, question, and decide) method-
There can be many reasons behind our being inner critics like our family, our culture, and the people we meet day and night. But the great news is that we can change the damaging nature of these negative comments and make them motivational.
We can practice making ourselves feel better by using these methods. But for this, you have to know from where did this inner critic start. Think about every aspect of your life. Make a list. And then ask yourself what your inner critic thinks about all these aspects of your life.
First of all, decide where, in which place, and what is to be improved. Keep one more thing in mind, you have to identify what is causing your inner talk so that when you recognize them, you can respond to it properly. But this practice will be effective only if you keep on practicing.
Mindfulness meditation is the best exercise to control your brain. Mindfulness meditation is the awareness of ourselves. It increases your brain power. It helps to increase your performance, memory, and attention.
Mental and Physical stress increase the level of cortisol hormones. Which increases the inflammatory chemicals like cytokines. So by doing mindfulness practice. You can decrease the level of inflammation due to stress. It also decreases the level of anxiety.
The most helpful meditation for managing your inner critics is. You do self-inquiry meditation also called Atma vichar in Sanskrit. In this meditation, you have to know who you are. It helps you to find yourself within yourself. Means who you are really to be.
Sit in a meditation position, and release yourself. Do not try to bind yourself. Open up your thoughts and emotions. Ask yourself a question ” who am I”. Do not hesitate if you get the answer negative. It is because you’re full of negativity. Do not try to control your thoughts. Welcome it.
In the first session, you get many types of answers. But when you will keep this practice daily for 15 to 30 minutes. You saw an amazing result. Your answer will slowly decrease. And the negative results change into positive ones. Because slowly you know yourself. You learn how to eliminate the false and accept the true answer. And easily conquer your inner critic.
Meditation is the source to know “who am I”
4. Become a self-lover-
Self-hater is the main badass of your inner critic. In this, you start to hate yourself. You have no compassion and empathy for yourself. You become your enemy. Before others start criticizing you. You start criticizing yourself.
So start doing self-love. Because love is the inbuilt feature of human nature. Love is the rope that binds us with each other. It is the seed for compassion, empathy, and harmony. This is one of the reasons. Why do humans remain human?
Self-love gives you a chance to think about yourself. It gives you a chance to know what is right and what is wrong for you, what gives you a profit and what gives you loss, and which decision is right for you and which is wrong. It increases the volume of the message coming from your intuition to your mind. So that your minds can hear it well. It helps you to conquer your inner critic.
Self-love changes the inner critics into inner guides. Now it not only points out your mistakes and wrong. But also give solutions to that problem. It not only makes you victims. But it learn you how to change yourself into owners. It does not only make you the voice of reason. But it changes you into voices of passion.
Self-love is our inner guide, which protects us from inner criticism.
5. Positive attitude-
The antidote to negativity is positivity. The inner critic is a private conversation between you. Which if you can understand becomes a powerful stepping stone. Or if you can not understand it becomes an obstacle in your path.
And it is the same, when we have a negative attitude, it becomes a snake that bites us. And when we have a positive attitude, the snake changes into the rope. Which helps us to pull out from the valley. A positive attitude helps us to forgive ourselves. For our old job. It saves us from the old remorse. Fill our hearts with relaxation. And help to conquer your inner critic.
Positiveness opens new dimensions for ourselves. When the regrets fill us with negativity and close all the doors from us. At that time positivity helps us to search for a new dimension. When we have positivity. We think like that ” so what happened that there is no way left for me now if I am alive then there must be some way to stay alive, and I will keep looking for it”
Positivity makes us optimistic.
These are the 5 steps to conquer your inner critics. Remember, we are human and humans make mistakes, and the lack of self-estimation in our inner critic may be due to our faults. But it is very important to forgive ourselves only then we can silence our inner critic.
It is a natural thing that we will make mistakes and learn from those mistakes and we have to take this responsibility ourselves. This is not to criticize yourself but to save yourself from remorse.
Best of luck.