why is my life is hard than others?
Yes, there is no doubt that life is hard. But sometimes we are because of our thinking. Make our hard life even harder. We are just a joke in the eyes of the people. No one takes pity on our tears. Rather people call us liars and weak. In all those thoughts. One thought is that. Our suffering is the greatest in the world.
Do we always complain that why our life is hard than others? Why do I only face problems? are all the problems written in my destiny? why others are happy but not I am. These are all thoughts ruminating in our minds. When we go through difficult phases in our life. At that time our mind is full of the illusion and Paradox that our problem is bigger than others. No one is in more sorrow than me.
But my friend, if you see the world in a holistic view. You will find that every person. Whether he is rich or poor, young or old, men or women all have their sorrow. So According to everyone their sorrow is bigger than others.
Such as if you have a child ask him a question: What is his hard time? First, he does not tell you. But when you politely ask him, please tell him the answer honestly. He will tell you that when he wakes up early daily to get ready for school, his boring classes, and when he does his homework is the hard times of his life. Because according to him his life revolved around three or four things. One is his school, his game, his food, and your love. So if he feels any lack in these things. It is hard for him to digest.
The same question you ask a young man his answer will be different from the child’s. His life revolves around other things than the child. For him, his biggest sorrow is his break up, not finding a job, not looking handsome or gorgeous, and not having a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Now you ask the same question to an old man. His answer will be different from others. His different diseases, his health, his sleeping pattern, and even his stool matter to him.
So, You see how the same question has a different answer. The answer depends on age, condition, and mindset. For the child and old man, their world revolves around their problems. This means they have no concern about what is happening in their surroundings. They engage in themselves. So their hardness in life is related to their problems. But in the case of young men, it is different. In their life, they give more focus on socializing themselves. That’s why at that time the cause of hardness was different. Here a question arises in our mind: why do these types of thoughts come into our minds?
Why do we think my life is harder than others?
First, our paradox mindset-
A paradoxical mindset is itself a catastrophic thing. It hinders us from making the right decision. That’s why we create an illusion around us. That we are the only ones in trouble and no one else.
Second, it issues a victim certificate-
It helps to decrease our responsibility. It creates an illusion in our mind that our problem is bigger than others. That’s why we cannot solve it. This means our victim thought makes us negatively biased person. Who always wants to escape from everything. Who never wants to fight with trouble?
Third, it lowers our responsibility-
As I have discussed above, by victimizing ourselves, we save ourselves from our obligation. For us, the thinking of others is more valuable than our thinking. We become such a negatively biased person that we feel good about our fall.
Fourth, Because of negativity biases-
I do not believe that some are completely positive and some are completely negative. Everyone’s a little positive or a little negative too. That’s how we live in this world. But when its balance gets disturbed in our life. More positivity leads to ego and more negativity makes us toxic people.
Fifth, to achieve some goals-
Sometimes the reason behind this kind of thinking is that it is done by us intentionally. When do we get any benefit from applying of our Victim Card? Like when a child does not go to school with homework. And his teacher wants to know about the region. He makes all kinds of excuses. As if a mountain of troubles had fallen on him. This is what we do in our life. When we have to avoid something. So we try to show people that we were unaware of that. Or were we in so much trouble that we did not understand what to do at that time?
The Paradox of life.
It is an illusion or Paradox. We created it in our minds. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally. It
But you will also notice that. When the person presents himself as a victim. Or struggling with the hardness of life. They became victims. But when they feel challenged by others. And when their ego gets hurt. They became the owner. They show people that they are strong and able to face all the hardships of life. This means people use this question only for their convenience. When they want they become victims and when they want they become owners.
I do not blame anyone that he is not in Sorrow and not going through hard phases of life. But my concern is only that when you put this question in front of other people. They only abuse you. Because this world is very cruel. No one will come to wipe your tears. You have to get up on your own and reach your tears. So what is the use of showing your tears
How does the paradox work?
So, let’s understand this problem with an example of a beggar and a King. We all know how hard the life of a beggar is. He has no food, shelter, or clothes. He has a scarcity of basic amenities in their life. So when he sees kings or Rich people. He always feels jealous that God gives him all the amenities of life, but not me. I struggle with gathering everyday food, searching for shelter to sleep at night, and warm clothes to keep ourselves warm. No doubt he is going through a very hard face in life.
But on the other hand, the life of the King is lavies. He has money, property, good clothes, horses, and servants. But he has no peace in their life. Because most of his time is spent thinking about it. How he expands his territory, how he earns more gold, and the welfare of the public of their Kingdom. He also always lives with the headache of a conspiracy by his relatives and ministers. Who always wants to inherit his throne. So when he goes through the street and sees the baggers. Thoughts come to mind. How fortunate he(the bagger) was? That they have no headaches. They sleep well. And live in peace. They have nothing to lose.
Although there is no comparison between them. Both are different. One has all and the other has nothing. But both feel jealous and both think that their lives are harder than others. But both are wrong. Because they only see their lack of life. But not focus on what they have. So this type of thinking is generated because of comparison. Therefore comparison leads to hardness and suffering. So if you do not do a comparison you win the half battle with the hardness and Sorrow of life.
How to get rid of these thoughts?
Now we discuss how we get rid of these types of thoughts. So let’s understand the solution in points.
First, come out from the paradox mindset.
Whatever the issue in life. First of all, we must come out of our paradoxical mindset.
Because if we do not get out of ourselves, then we cannot control our thinking. Our thinking will become like an unbridled horse, no one knows where it will stop. That’s why first we made a clear mindset about what we have to think, how much to think and when to think.
Second, not to be a negatively biased person.
I am not saying that you should become a Mahatma. You remain human because it is better for you. Just learn to accept whatever comes into your life. Is it good or bad? Because without knowing the question, it cannot be answered. Similarly, when trouble comes in life, its solution will also come out. You do not have enough strength to stop. Whatever is going to come into your life. That’s why accept what comes. You don’t know if that is better for you too.
Third, take responsibility for what you have done.
Because the more you run away from your responsibility, the more he will be after you. If you don’t take responsibility, it will make you a coward. Because without enjoying what you have done in this life, you will not get rid of this life. That is why it is better to do it today than to accept it later. The longer you delay, the more you will be surrounded by miseries.
Fourth, Happiness and sorrow are not going to be permanent.
Nothing is permanent in this world. What has grown has to be drowned. So if there is sadness then do not get upset that it will not be in your life forever. Of course, it may take some time. But it will definitely go.
Fifth, be aware of it if you do it intentionally.
Yes, if you are doing this intentionally, then be a little saved. Like fire, How useful is it to us today? We know that. But when we start playing with that fire, it also burns us. It’s not a bad thing to be the person to get your job done sometimes. But if it becomes a part of your habits then it will again become fatal for you. So use all these things at least.
So comes out the illusion or myth that why my life is harder than others. it does not give you anything although it increases your suffering. The continuity of this type of thought breaks your conscience, intuition, and hope. You become a negative person. Who never wants to win? People will start avoiding you. Because your negative vibes get affecting them. So come out from the illusion or paradox. And make a knot of one thing. The more your responsibilities are bigger, the bigger your life’s troubles are. Because a strong shoulder can bear the trouble, not weaker. So be brave and shake hands with the trouble. And say you come into my life, it is your choice. But I am ready to throw you out of my life. It will be my choice.
Best of luck.