7 ways to fix problems of marriage life.
7 ways to fix problems of marriage life. Marriage life is a very sweet thing. But because of some of our stupidity and some of our family and social obligation. We make it bitter. So, because of us many problems in marriage life surrounded us.
Like, bouquets bound different flowers with each other i knot. Married bound the two people of different characters or nature in one knot.
“Marriage: love is the reason lifelong, friendship is the gift, kindnesses the cause, till death do us part is the length”
Let’s start this article with the story of Maria and Jonathan. Maria and Jonathan finally wanted to marry after 3 years of dating back.
They knew everything about each other.
So after one month they finally got married.
One year goes out very well. But from starting of the second year. The quarrel was starting between them, which is common, in every married life.
I called the first year of married life as a swing on the lawn of the house. Afterwards, marriage life turns into a roller coaster ride.
As much the relationship will be older. The twist and turn of the path of the roller coaster are increased. This means our marriage life is filled with a lot of problems and challenges.
Now we will come to the story. When the second year started. The roller coaster ride was started. The quarrel was increased day by day.
Finally, after three years of married life, they decided to divorce. What is the reason behind it?
If you add 3 years before the marriage to 3 years after the marriage. The relationship duration is 6 years. Which is more to understand each other.
If they passed away 3 years in a healthy relationship before marriage. It was enough time to understand each other. Whether to continue in a relationship or not.
If they decide to go into married life. I am sure that they decide after a lot of thinking. But the result is different. In three years of married life, they want a divorce.
The big reason is that they do not understand that. Before and after marriage lots of things will be changed in their life.
The partner will be the same. But their responsibility, duty, approach and attitude will be different.
For example, the same person Maria and Jonathan go to a restaurant for dinner. Before the marriage, when they went for dinner. Jonathan was with her physically and mentally.
He tried everything to make the time precious for Maria. But now when they go for dinner.
There is no excitement, they do it like in the house they do. Jonathan is persent physically but not mentally.
Why this is happening, even if the person is to be the same, the situation is to be the same? The answer is very simple.
Before marriage, they stole the hour for that dinner from their full day hectic life schedule. Jonathan and Maria know that they have only one hour for them.
So they want to live every second of that hour with each other. They have only one hour for each other.
But after the marriage, the whole scenario will be changed for this couple.
Know they have 24×7 hours for each other. So they have no scarcity of time.
So if there is no scarcity the passion will not generate. So when they go for dinner, they are not that enthusiastic about that. Because they are with each other 24×7. And every day they do dinner with each other.
First Jonathan and Maria were only responsible for one hour. But after entering into married life they are responsible 24×7.
So know Jonathan is responsible for taking care and fulfilling every daily need Maria. And Maria is responsible for fulfilling Jonathan’s family and personal wants.
So their responsibility creat mental stress on these people. So, they are physically persent but not mentally.
7 ways to fix problems of marriage life.
So these are some problems of marriage life. Which we face in our couple life. This is just a glimpse to show, how much our married life and love life is different. The real story is still to come. That is how you fix it.
I think that by the above story. I will not fully explain my point of view. That’s why I decided that I deliver my view according to my experience of marriage life of 11 years.
What type of problems in marriage life, do I face in my life and how do I fix these problems.
I know 11 years is very less. But the reality is that in these 11 years. I and my better half and go through various ups and downs.
And our struggle in life has continued. I found a beautiful lady as my companion and two cute children. What a man wants from life.
My marriage life started on 31 May 2010
Due to arrange marriage I and my wife both was unknown to each other.
But what the quality is of arranged marriage. That’s seeded love pant in boys’ and girls’ hearts. Which became a tree in one night and love climbed on the top of the tree that night.
We started our life, with a commitment to give time to understand each other first. So my love life will start.
After a lot of evaluation of my marriage life. I extracted 7 problems of marriage life that I faced in my life. How do I fix those issues?
The first problem of marriage life was raised after one and half years of my married life. I realize that I made a mistake on my first night. Which generally various people of patriarchal society did.
The first problems of marriage life:
While conversing on my first night. I started with an introduction about my family. I told her about my obligation toward my family.
But my mistake was that I compel her to fulfil my obligation. This was not right because my obligation is mine, not hers.
How I fixed it:
First, understand each other. Do not talk rubbish about obligation responsibility on the first night. A full life is for this.
This is not the right mindset. We assume your wife as partner and companion in accomplishing your task not an alternative to you. Give the period to your married life to understand each other.
The second problem of marriage life began because of my family background. My family is conservative. Which values the old beliefs of societies. A lot of restrictions less freedom.
But my wife has also come from a family which is also on the same platform on which my family stays.
So she has never faced a problem adjusting to my family. Her main problem was that nobody appreciates her.
My family others member was always in the mood to cavil in all her work. She complained to me about that. I fulfil all my obligation devoted. For this, I deserved some respect.
The second problem of marriage life:
Why the family did not give her respect and appreciation. And sometimes his husband also does not give her respect or appreciate her.
A little thing she wants. In the respect of her doing and taking care of the family member.
How I fixed it:
Respect and appreciate your wife. And convince your family to accept her. After marriage, a girl who comes into the family is a newbie.
It is the responsibility of the family member to adopt her from the heart.
What she needs is a few good words of appreciation and respect.
So appreciate her, husband must always appreciate. Because she believes that. Nobody appreciates her, but his husband does it.
After one and half years a new member came into my family. This was a precious gift. That I and my wife found from god.
But happiness, brought extra responsibility. This made me and my wife busy in our life. I was busy earning my livelihood.
My wife was busy adhering to the baby. And fulfil other responsibilities of the family. Its impact was that. The problem arose in our married life. Because of less time or no time.
The third problem of marriage life:
Due to shortness of time and extra responsibility. The difference was increasing. The daily confrontation was started. Stress was building on both of us.
How I fixed it:
When I considered these problems. Which I was faced with within my life. The result that comes in front of me. That was the less valuable time which we were not spent many times.
So, because of that our understanding was decreasing day by day. And leads to confrontation.
Make a schedule of at-list two hours for you and your wife to spend quality time.
So, Please spent valuable time with your life partner. Share your feeling and listen to her feeling. This will decrease the level of stress.
The fourth problem of
marriage life:
The fourth marriage problem arose due to the hectic schedule of our life. The problem was our stress and tiredness. Due to this, we were not able to fulfil our sexual desire.
This is also a major problem faced by couples due to the hectic schedule of work. And the responsibility of family and high level of stress in their life.
How I fixed it:
Respect each other decisions. Sex when both agree. Understand the feelings for each other.
Due to wives having to go through a hectic seclude all over the day. In the end, they feel tired.
At that time you give her a proposal of sex. No doubt she will be fired on you.
She has reason to react. So without getting involved in a dispute respect her NO.
Like in the same case, if men come from their office and feel tired. The above process should be used by women.
Respect each other feelings. Sex is the process. When both partners are committed. Then they better enjoy it.
But if your desire is uncontrolled, then apply my trick. Give your partner a massage. With your fingertips.
My wife is short-tempered and angry in a few minutes. Usually, to control confrontation, I use the delay method. Silence is tried and tested formula of mine. This is a common marriage problem and sometimes leads to divorce.
The fifth problem of marriage life:
How to tackle the confrontation and avoid it.
How I fixed it:
Mastery in silence. Always delay confrontation. When my wife was tempered and loud. I controlled myself and listen to her.
When her anguish is released. She calms down. During this period, she also learns this skill and applied it to me.
I only say the argument is the part of marriage life. Because arguments give chance to out the anguish. Which clears your heart and mind and solidity your trust in each other.
As above I tell that I and my beloved wife’s struggle is continuing. Money plays a vital role in anyone’s life. Especially after marriage, the role of money will be increased.
I earn that much which is essential for survival. Due to that, I am not able to fulfil other demands of my family. So, I thought this is one of the points the confrontation starts.
Above I explained that Jonathan physically persent with his wife but not mentally, because of life’s stress.
In which financial problems play a major role. Mostly divorce is happen because of a financial crisis.
This is the biggest marriage problem. According to me. It is the best relationship tester.
When your partner leaves you in this difficult phase. You can understand that he/she is not for you.
The sixth problem of marriage life:
Without having fiscally prospered. You face always problems in your marriage life. You do not fulfil the wife’s demand, not give him luxurious life, and respect in family and society.
How I fixed it:
Start to celebrate small achievements and smart management of resources. Making himself prosper is based on luck, hard work, opportunity etc.
It is not one night job. But life never waits for you. So make every day a great day of your life.
If a big occasion does not come in your life. Celebrate on small achievement of life.
Like on Sunday make a meal for your family. Instead of going to the movies or mall.
Go for a walk with your wife to buy a glossary for the house or a daily night walk. Which gives you quality time to spend with your better half. It makes your understanding thicker.
The Seventh Problems of marriage life:
Loss of trust, this demon destroys many houses. Till then both partners do not trust each other.
The vehicle of marriage life will not run smoothly. The misconception creates various other marriage problems.
That loss of trust and the reason behind misconception may be financial, sexual and other secrets of life.
It takes a long time to trust someone. In the primary stage of married life. It can be a common problem
But if the misconception starts in the middle phase of marriage life. This is a massive problem. Because in this phase to relationship should be thicker.
So what is the reason behind this? The reason is simple. The seed of misconception is seeded in our hearts in the primary phase.
And social and family pressure nurtured it. And after 5 to 7 years of marriage life, it became a plant and burst out.
How I fixed it:
Building trust is not one-day work. That after a nap when you wake up. Your mind and heart are full of trust.
So when you feel that. You have some suspicion about your partner. It may be his or her act, character, and secret.
Do not hesitate to talk with him or her. Go and talk with them. Clear your grievance and misconception. I know this is the hardest thing. But it will protect it from becoming an atom bomb.
Yes, I know what you think, I also go through that. You think that if you talk about your misconception. How do they react to your words?
But for me, two minutes confrontation is so small risk. One day the matter is having so big. that I do not control it. And destroy my marriage life. So talk with your partner and resolve your issue.
These are my experience in my married life of eleven years. Which teach me some sour and sweet lessons about life? And I expected that god gives his grass on my married life till death.
So, according to me, marriage life is not fully sweet and not fully sure. Its test will be tangy. According to me, my 7 ways to fix problems of marriage life.
This helps you to resolve your marriage problem of life. And prosper your marriage life. One thing you should keep in your mind.
Running from your problem is not the solution to your problem. So why not face it. If you win, you are called the winner, if you lose, you are called a fighter, but if you run from it, you are called a coward. So the choice will be in your hand.
#Cheat-sheets of the problems of marriage
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Compel her to fulfil my obligation.
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Family does not give respect and application.
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Due to shortness of time and extra responsibility. Not giving quality time to each other.
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Not fulfilling our sexual desire.
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How to tackle the confrontation and avoid it.
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Without fiscal prosperity, you face always a problem.
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Loss of trust.
#Cheat-sheets of solutions for marriage
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First, understand each other, do not talk rubbished about obligation. Responsibility full life is for this.
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Respect and appreciate your wife. And convince your family to accept her.
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Make a schedule of hours for you and your wife to spend quality time.
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Respect each other decisions. Sex when both agree.
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Mastery in silence.
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Start to celebrate small achievements and smart management of resources.
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Build trust.
Best of luck.
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Gulam sarwar khan
I am a common man, with the common purpose of life, defeat many times like everyone. But one thing which keeps me in the race of life. Never give up, continue, be patient, and be passionate. I believe in sharing. So, I start this blog with the purpose to thrive your mind and thrive your future. By giving motivational, personal development, mental and financial well being, relationship, habits and thoughts tips. Which I experienced in my life. Experience is the best teacher you can trust.
