How to let go of your ego and make yourself humble? Do not be egoistic and release your ego or pride. Your ego eats you. It weakens you from the inside. This type of advice you heard from your childhood. I also give the same advice to my clients or those who want my advice.
But when you question anyone that you are egoistic? He simply replied No, I have no ego. People never accept that he has an ego. I also do not accept it. But ego is that feature of us. Which comes from the womb with us and goes into the tomb with us.
We do not accept it because the ego is a part of our intellect. Which our mind does not recognise. We have pride in ourselves, our country, our religion, and our community. But we never accepted that. To an extent, our ego and pride are essential for us.
So to know about our ego. we have to do non-partisan introspection. Which is also very difficult. And second, You can take the help of a teacher. Which gives you advice whether you are engulfed in ego or not. The teacher is maybe your true friend, your wife, or any mental and spiritual coach.
What is ego?
We called ego as ‘aham’ means ‘I’. To live in our I is called ego. Ego is ugly and hypocritical.
When we use I in every sentence. It means we are affected by ego or pride.
Swami mukandanada says the acronym of the three-word ego is ‘edging god out’ which means when ego or pride come in. The god goes out of us. And when humbleness comes in, God comes in.
Ego means forgetting the god. Because of whom the grace of god disappears from our life. That’s why God hates ego and loves humbleness.
Ego is artificial and hypocritical. Ego is an illusion which keeps us away from reality. Like there was a man in greek. He came to Socrates and told him with pride. He made a very large and beautiful house for himself.
When Socrates heard it, he took a map of Greek and asked him. In Greek in which city he lived. It was a dot on the whole map. Then he said which was your colony.
In which you constructed your house. The colony was a dot within the dot. Later he questioned, where your house is in the colony. Of course, it was a dot, within the dot.
So Socrates said if you can’t show your house on the map. What are you proud of? So wealth, power, beauty, and skill make us filled with ego. We think like that. We are the only ones who can do this.
Sometimes the light is more lethal than darkness. If you can’t see, because of dazzle. Darkness represents sadness and hopelessness. But the dazzling light represents our ego. Which is more lethal.
Difference between ego and self-esteem.
There is a very thin line between self-esteem and ego. Ego or pride is the mother and self-esteem is his child. Ego keeps you away from god. Nothing like that with the Self-esteem.
Ego pulls you towards darkness. But your self-esteem took you out of the darkness. Ego closes you, which means you do not accept anything like knowledge, advice and opinion. But nothing like that with self-esteem.
Ego is destructive, which means it destroys you and others both. But self-esteem is protective. It only protects you from the ego of others. Ego wants to rule, but self-esteem wants to save you. It is a protective shield.
For example, educationalists in America, introduce a new policy in the education system that no student will fail in their class. This means everyone from the class will upgrade to another class.
The reason behind this was to boost the self-esteem of the student. So when they come out of the school they will be bloated with self-esteem.
But when their interaction with the real world starts, their morale decreases. They were not able to earn a single penny. So their bloated self-esteem was down. And they came in depression. That they are not able to do anything.
When we do the same work continuously to increase our self-esteem. It changes into ego. Because it creates an illusion that I am perfect.
So, the students are not bloated with self-esteem, but they are bloated with ego.
So for self-esteem, you can motivate them and not discourage them in front of a straight student in the class. But you give rewards to straight students in front of them. This gives them a better chance to improve. They think that if I also come first I will also find a reward.
Earning something with hard work increases your self-esteem. But getting something for free increases your ego.
How do you identify your ego?
You never accept that you’re in ego. Because the ego is the fundamental part of your intellect. So your intellect never understands that you are in ego. Like an officer, he does not listen to your words. Or misbehave with you.
When anyone will ask him. Why does he do this? He first blames you. Then he blamed his work pressure. But he does not blame himself. That I am in the ego of being an officer.
How do you identify your ego?
1. When all sentences start from ‘I’.
2. When your words hurt someone.
3. When again and again you started crying out for your self-esteem.
4. When there is no place for communication in your life.
5. When you think that everyone is worthless and small in front of you.
6. When fear of god is out of your heart.
7. When love, affection, and compassion does not exist in your heart and brain.
So here are some diagnoses which help you identify whether you have an ego or not.
How to let go of your ego and make yourself humble?
To let go of your ego is not an easy task. The major reason behind the failure in it is. We try to eliminate our egos. Which is not possible. Because it is an inbuilt feature of us.
In trying to eliminate our ego. We keep ourselves morally down. It is like suffocating one’s own throat. Our ego will go, but it makes us dumb. Which has no self-esteem. We are like a temple bell that will be beaten by all.
According to me, everyone should that much self-esteem. That others recognise them. Without this, the world will always crush you. You won’t even know. So try to avoid ego not eliminate it.
Ego is the ocean, and self-esteem is your boat, which carries you to the shore.
How to let go of your ego?
1. Establish communication-
If you want to out the tag of an egoistic person on your forehead. First, you have to establish communication with others. Because your ego protects you from having a conversation.
It assures you that you are elite and superior. Why do you talk to anyone, why call for help? So these feelings protect you from establishing communication.
When you start communication. You know about others’ feelings about you. You know new things which help you and solve your problem. Slowly, when you get social. Your ego will be decrease
2. Try to inculcate compassion and empathy in your attitude-
Compassion helps you to understand others and empathy helps you to not only understand any one problem. But to take action on it. It makes you humble. Will take you closer to God. And how slowly you get closer to God. That much your compassion and empathy will increase.
Your ego restricts you from not listening to any one word. Do what you want. But compassion and empathy help you to understand the situation. And help to take any action according to the situation.
Recently I saw a news story in which a sub-collector slapped an old man. Who had gone to him, with a complaint and was asking him to take action on it.
What do you expect from a public servant? That if you go to him with a complaint, he will slap you. Or will he listen comfortably to your complaint and solve it.
So this is a basic feature of a civil servant that he should be compassionate and empathetic. Slapping the old man is the ego of that sub-collector.
3. Try to inculcate forgiveness and gratitude-
Every day Prophet Muhammad (hajur salla vasllam) went to mazid from the same path. And every day an old Jews lady threw his garbage on him. He never complained to him about anything and used to go ahead.
This routine was the same for many days. But after a few days, this process stopped. Similarly, one day passed, then another day also passed, but on the third day. Prophet Muhammad (hajur salla vasllam) could not stop himself. And he went to her house to inquire about her condition.
He found that the old lady was lying on the bed. And there was no one to take care of him. To see this Prophet Muhammad (hajur salla vasllam) was very sad. When the woman saw Prophet Muhammad (hajur salla vasllam), she got up in shock and sat down.
She asked Muhammad how are you coming here?
Prophet Muhammad (hajur salla vasllam) replied, mother I come here to know about you. Because you didn’t throw garbage at me for 3 days. I was worried that if something happened to you? Thank Allah that you are fine. Do not be afraid. I will get you food and water.
To hear this the old lady started crying. And took the hand of Prophet Muhammud (hajur salla vasllam) in his hand and started kissing her and saying ” Oh Muhammad, how unlucky I am, I did not recognize you. And how many crimes I have committed on you, please forgive me for all that”
Prophet Muhammad (hajur salla vasllam) with a little smile on his face replied. Don’t worry, you are now my mother. Your all miseries are mine and all my happiness is yours.
There is no greater charity in the world than forgiveness. There is no greater service than gratitude.
Love is the mother of all goodness in the world. It makes you soft, humble, and compassionate. If you are in love, or if you have been in love. You notice that there is no space for ego. Only your heart wants. What I give her or his. We are always eager to fulfil all their demands. There is no shadow of the ego.
The difficulty of love is like an ice ball for the lover. Which tickles the lover. It’s not like you are only soft for your beloved. But you are soft for others also. So it’s my heartly advice that everyone should do love once. And enjoy their life
Meditation is a very powerful process to know yourself from the inside. We think that meditation is only done in a lonely place or sitting in a yoga mudra. But it can be done in the office, in your car, and before the meeting.
For this, you have to keep the focus on your breath. This is the basis of all methods of meditation. People are always confused. When they started their mediation. Some advice focuses on your God, some advice that focuses on goals, and some advice focuses on single words like ome. These all are right.
But the essence of these is to focus on your breath. When your mind hears the sound of breath and feels the in and out of breath. Then you understand that your concentration level is increasing. And your emotional brain and reasoning brain listen to each other. And when they work coordinately. You can control your ego.
In answer to how to let go of your ego and make yourself humble? Ego is an artificial and hypocritical attitude. Which only pushes you into the darkness. But it is an inbuilt feature of humans. Which you can’t eliminate. If there is no use for it, why does God give it to us? But God does not give ego. He gives us self-esteem. To boost our life. When we are engulfed in miseries. So let go of your ego and make yourself humble. Because God loves humbleness.
Best of luck.