How to deal with toxic people?
How to deal with toxic people? We mate with different types of people daily. In which for few we feel delighted, for few we have no emotion, but few are so negative that their behaviour sticks in our mind. And will hinder us for a few days. These are toxic people. That toxicity spreads in our minds and makes us mentally ill.
But if these people are those from whom we never met. This thought is good for relaxation. But let me tell you that such people are also present in the people around us. They may be our relatives, coworkers, or friends. But it is very difficult to weed out the toxic people from our well-wishers.
Because both starting symptoms are the same. Both activities give us a feeling of affinity. They ask questions from us. And both interfere in our personal as well as professional life. So it is very difficult to identify. Who are our well-wishers and who are toxic people? So before we know how to deal with toxic people? We have to know first, how do you identify toxic people?
How do you identify toxic people?
To identify toxic people. We have to know about the difference between toxic people and well-wishers. The difference is as follows:
1.Give wrong Suggestions-
The toxic people’s suggestions are influenced by their profit. They only want their profit. For which they only give you that suggestion. Which is profitable for them. In some cases you also get profit. But they make a profit in all cases. Even if you have to face the loss. From them, the relationship is a profit and loss game.
But if anybody is your well-wisher. He can not give you any suggestions from which you get a loss. Even if he does not get profit from that suggestion. For them, relationships are first. All the things are secondary.
Manipulation is not a wrong thing. Everyone should know some manipulation. But when greed and cheating are the base of manipulation then it is wrong. And toxic people do manipulate to fulfill their greed. Or they want to cheat anyone.
But well-wishers sacrifice themselves for you. Instead of cheating you. If they try to manipulate your decision and demand. They do it for your welfare. And to save you from the struggle. Like, the father and son relationship. Many times our father tries to change our decision and not fulfill our demands. To make our future bright. At that time our father seemed to be our biggest enemy. But when we grow up we will notice that. How much they cared about us.
3. Always be negative-
The toxic people are full of negativity. The toxic people are so negative. They do not even try to initiate any work and also stop you from initiating. They always try to play the victim card and influence you to not take any responsibility. This means they will fill your life with negativity. They encourage us when we do wrong. But discourage us when we are right.
But your well-wisher always gives you positive comments and decisions. They motivate us when we are right and counsel us when we are wrong
4. Scoop out errors from all-
The toxic people are not in a mood to spare anyone. They scoop out errors from all. Even in those people. Who seems like their good friend. But when they are not with them. They start scooping errors from them. So beware of people who point out others’ mistakes in front of you.
But a well-wisher does not do it. They blame you for your mistakes and do not share the mistakes of others with you. They only care about your good and bad, not the good and bad of others.
5. Only raise a question but not give solutions-
You must have realized that there are some such people around you, that only raise questions. Like, when you start doing something.
They say to you “Well then you are starting to do this work. Yes, I met a man yesterday who started doing the same thing, but he had to face many problems. Well, then you are starting to do this work. I know what kind of trouble you will have to go through. But no matter what, keep it up.”
After knowing all this, doubt will arise in your mind and you will start thinking about whether I am doing right or not. But when you ask for a solution from them.
Either they will give you misleading information or an incomplete solution. Because they never want to give the solution or they do not know about the solution. Their only target is to pull your leg.
But well-wishers do not do it. They only give that many solutions. As much as they know about it. If they do not know, they simply say sorry. If they raise questions they also give you a full solution.
How to deal with toxic people-
The first and tried and tested formula to deal with toxic people is to neglect them. They are like viruses. Which is active when they enter the body. And start to infect the body. And decrease immunity. The toxic people are just like that. When they enter our lives. They affect our personality, behaviour, and thoughts. And will decrease our positivity and spread negativity in our life.
So when you identify those toxic people. Try to just neglect them or avoid them. Like, two feet distance is essential. The slogan was given at the time of covid-19. To stop the spread of this virus.
2. Try WAT (Write, think, and act) method-
When the situation is critical. You are stuck in a situation where you know that the man is a toxic person. But You can’t run away from him. Because of your social or economic obligation. So, in that situation. You can use the WAT (write, think, and act) method.
For this, you take a notebook. Start thinking and writing questions. The question is like that: what is the weakness of that person? When do they react negatively? And what is his cognitive behaviour at that time?
You draw three columns. The first is cognitive behaviour. Second, your counter-reaction. Third, Their reaction?
Take the above example. When they listen you start a job. Cognitive behaviour, they confuse you. Your action, you get confused and ask for help. Their reaction, they give you wrong and incomplete.
By writing this you evaluate their behaviour in different situations. It will help you to know their level of toxicity. The pattern of their behaviour. And will give you the chance to counter them.
3. Make meditation & affirmation your armour-
Yes, Meditation is to be your armour. It keeps your brain relaxed. It gives you the chance to meet yourself. While doing meditation you also do affirmation. Because the affirmation helps you to know your power. To know how affirmation can reprogram our brain. We should have to know what affirmation is.
In a simple word, affirmation is the repetition of powerful words. How does it work? By keeping repetition the powerful words are fixed in our subconscious minds. Slowly it impacts our thinking, attitude, and behaviour.
Our positive thoughts change into positive action. But for doing affirmation. It is not essential. You have to follow the other written affirmations.
Because no one knows you better than yourself. So sit down and start repeating the things. Which you want to do and which you would like to be in your life. Slowly your brain accepts it.
And after a few days, you found that. Your brain thinks about what you want. Your every thought and action will be towards your goal. Because by the affirmation you send a message to your brain that what you want? So by doing affirmation you increase your immunity. Which fights with toxic people like viruses. Because you know yourself.
4. Keep yourself positive-
Always keep yourself positive. Positivity is the antidote to negativity. When you do meditation and affirmation. You keep yourself positive. But sometimes the events happening around us take away our positivity. At that time darkness surrounds us and we cannot see anything. Nobody supports us. At that time it is possible that positivity changes into negativity. Because we have no option left.
You may consider why this happens. What is the reason behind this? The reason is the devil. Which sit in our minds. The devil sits in his fort and laughs at us. Because we constructed the fort by ourselves and continuously strengthened it. By our greed, selfishness, and fear. And the devil throws us into the valley of negativity.
So to build positivity. We have to strengthen the fort of God. And for that, we have to change greed into generosity, selfishness into sacrifice, and fear into confidence. And to change this we have to strengthen our belief in our God. That’s why we need god. To disappear our life darkness
5. Love yourself-
Those who love themselves never come under the influence of any people. Because they know about themselves. They know about their strengths and weaknesses. That’s why they can differentiate between the right comments and misleading comments.
They know who are the well-wishers and who are the toxic people. So be a person that loves himself. For this when you do affirmation. You can tell yourself ” I love myself “.
6. Choose the company of good people-
It’s right, who will sit next to us? Who will become our relative, it is not in our hands. But with whom we have to maintain our relationship and with whom we have to leave. It is our right to choose it. So avoid toxic people. And choose well-wishers.
7. Aware of their behaviour-
Sometimes a person displays toxic behaviour. May not be aware that what they are doing or saying is harming you. If so, consider having a heart-to-heart conversation about what you’re experiencing.
Still, some people may have an underlying personality disorder or unresolved mental health condition. That can make effective communication challenging. In that case, encouraging them to talk to a mental health professional about their concerns may be more beneficial.
So in the answer to how to deal with toxic people? We have to first identify the people who are our well-wishers and who are toxic people. So to identify the toxic people. We have to judge the people on 5 parameters. 1. Manipulator 2. Only raise a question but not give solutions 3. Scoop out errors in all 4. always be negative 5. Give the wrong suggestion.
After knowing about toxic people. We have to know how to deal with toxic people. 1. Neglect them 2. Try WAT method 3. Always be positive 4. Make meditation your armour 5. Choose the company of good people 6. Aware of their behaviour 7. Love yourself.
Best of luck.