“Do you feel burning in the fire of past bad thoughts or negative thoughts?”Then use 5 fire extinguishers to extinguish the fire. Past bad thought is garbage. Like garbage is thrown out of the house in the dustbin. Past has the same destiny. Throw out from your life.
Ruminating the past never gives us any benefit.
So, like on our computer. When the unwanted record, takes more space and downs the speed of the computer. We delete it.
The same condition applies to our brain. When our mind is full of junks of past thoughts. Our brain’s productivity is affected.
So, it’s better to delete the junk than make a junkyard of past thoughts.
We all have a past. In the past, we have had many memorable moments. Some memories make us feel great and some moments make us sad.
According to our psychological nature, our mind only wants to remember the moment. From which we feel good. But when the thinking process starts with good thoughts, bad thoughts also come into our minds.
These all are natural processes. We all encounter this phenomenon. The difficulty emerges when these thoughts affect our thinking process. Overthinking, anxiety, and worry to depression and mental disorders.
Good thoughts do not harm us. It gives us pleasure. But our past bad thoughts harm us. It makes our mind and soul barbecue.
There are a few reasons behind when past bad thoughts or negative thoughts come into our minds. Whenever we do not want it to come.
1. When the past trauma suddenly comes in front of our eyes. It’s like while travelling you show an accident. Which replays your past accident trauma.
2. When we went through back-to-back unfortunate events in our life. Suddenly all the negative thoughts attack our minds.
3. When negative attitudes indulge in our psychological behaviour.
4.” An empty mind is the house of the devil.” You observe that when we
have no work many types of negative thoughts come into our mind, especially our bad thoughts. Also if we go through miseries in our life.
Till now, we understand the situation in which past bad thoughts or negative thoughts come into mind. But a question arises here. Why do past bad thoughts or negative thoughts come into mind? So, these are the few reasons behind this.
The situation in which negative thoughts come to mind
1. Lack of emotional intelligence-
The lack of emotional intelligence does not build understanding in us. About our emotions and others’ emotions.
Like, how we react in a particular situation, do not understand the feeling of others, and what is the reaction of others against my attitude.
This is because we are not aware of our emotions and others. Do not know how to manage the emotions of ourselves and others.
For example, John is a stand-up comedian. Whenever he goes to give his performance on the stage. People are bullying and trolling him about his performance.
When he encounters this type of thing happening in his several performances. So finally after some time. He decided to leave this profession.
Because whenever he goes to perform on stage moment of his past bad thoughts of bullying comes out. Whether bullying happens or not. His fear of bullying and negative thoughts affected his performance.
This is because he is not aware of his emotions and does not know how to handle them.
Rather concentrate on his performance. He engages himself in the maze of his past bad thoughts or negative thoughts.
If he thought that every performer faced bullying in his primary days. or even in every performance.
He only concentrates on his performance. And give his performance for his followers not for others. And he should never quit his profession.
2. Due to stress full life-
We live in a competitive world. So, running fast is necessary to win the race of success. But in this race, we do not emphasize mental and physical health. Only we recklessly run behind our goal.
There is no end to desire. One ends and the next arises. The desire and worry end in our tomb. So, to achieve our target the best one is to use a collective approach.
We give a balancing emphasis on both mental and physical well-being and our hard work. If you live a stressful life. Your past bad thoughts or negative thoughts never leave you. Come and come again to hurt you.
3. Passes through worst days-
When we pass through the worst day of life. We go through several ups and downs in our life.
These days are like exam days in our lives. On the film of exam day. 3 main characters are playing their roles. One is a student (as we), Second is an exam paper (ups and downs of life). The third is the teacher (our life).
Our result is based on our performance in the exam paper. If we solve all the problems of paper efficiently, it means fighting all the ups and downs of life efficiently. We appear as winners.
If we do not solve the problems of the exam paper. We failed the exam. And all the miseries flock around us. Our past regret and negative thoughts emerge in our minds. Which makes our life hell and always haunts us.
4. Deficiency in life-
When we pass through deficiency in life our past doings and negative thoughts come in front of us. We thought that it would have been better if we had not done this. We have done that work wrong.
For example, when you lose your job and try for new jobs. But not find success in it. Gradually time passes. Your frustration increases.
Positive thoughts change into negative thoughts. The reflection of your negative thoughts shows in your behaviour.
Lockdown during the covid-19 is the best example. How past regrets and negative thoughts are nasty for some people.
During that phase, reports of domestic violence, divorce, suicide, and other mental disorders increased to 25% in comparison to last year.
5. When we see or hear the same trauma which we pass through in past-
This is natural. When we see or hear the same trauma, which we passed through in the past. Suddenly the whole wounds refresh once again.
We find ourselves in deep pain. But, the best way to overcome this situation is. Distract your mind from the trauma to somewhere else.
How to avoid negative thoughts.
Before starting the discussion about how to cope with our past thoughts. I will give you instructions. The urge of past thinking whether it is bad or good is a natural process. So we cannot stop it. We should use the 5 following fire extinguishers. Which saves us from the burning of our minds from past bad thoughts and negative thoughts.
1. Understand the essence of the past-
What is past, past is already gone or belongs to a time before the present. The last thought is the memory of belonging to a time before the present. which means a “memory box”.
In this memory box, some thoughts give us excitement, and enjoyment and some thoughts give us Sorrow, regrets, and fear.
The probability of both thoughts coming into our minds is the same. But our bad thoughts affect us badly.
If the bad thoughts are prolonged. It starts to haunt our minds. Fear, sorrow, regrets, and hopelessness gradually make the house in our minds.
This leads to mental disorders like anxiety, depression, and other diseases rather than mental disease.
No doubt our experience teaches us life lessons, alerts us from upcoming danger, and can face problems.
But they regret our loss in the past and think about our past trauma. Make us reluctant to move forward.
Stop taking a step to grasp new opportunities and responsibilities.
To understand the past. This trick you may use. You question yourself whether I have the power to go into the past and rectify my mistake? Or do I have the power to back the words which are out of our mouths? I have the power to stop time.
It is very much sure if your mental status is right. Your answer would be NO. Because not only you but nobody on this earth has this power.
So, again a question arises. If I have no power to stop it and go back to the past, then why do we regret our past thoughts?
Therefore it’s better, not to be engulfed in the maze of past and future. We should give more focus to flourishing our present.
We should welcome all the thoughts bad or good and flush them out from our minds. Therefore we assume thoughts as rivers flow in their way without obstructions.
Never make a dam on it. If you control it, there is a full chance of flood, overflow and disaster.
2. Do Mindfulness practice-
Do mindfulness practice. It helps you to maintain focus on your present and avoid destruction due to your past and future thoughts and negative thoughts.
You give yourself 10 to 20 minutes from your busy schedule. Believe me, in return you find more that you never expected.
You start your mindfulness practice from your bed. Do 2-minute breathing exercises: inhale and exhale, your breath deeply.
Try to maintain focus on your breath. Release the positive vibes of your in the universe.
In return, the universe connects your mind to the positive vibes in the universe.
Mindfulness practice recharges your mind and generates a positive attitude. It helps to maintain focus on your task. And it helps to Keep away the causes of distraction from your mind.
In the causes of Distraction past thoughts and negative thoughts play a vital role.
You do the practice of mindfulness for the whole day in 1 hour for 1 minute.
It keeps you energetic, sharpens your mind, and makes your performance effective for the whole day.
The last 10 minutes of your professional life are most important. Because this is the period of transition between professional life to personal life.
When you enter the stress of professional life into your personal life will be destroyed. Your whole day regrets, abuse by your boss, bad interaction with your colleagues, your past wrongs. Change you into a time bomb. Which will blast at your home.
So, it is better to do 10 minutes of mindfulness exercises before you leave your office. This will put down your level of stress and anxiety. You enjoy your personal life with joy.
3. Busy yourself-
The Best trick to avoid ruminating thoughts is to keep yourself busy with any task. The famous proverb fits here. “An empty mind is the house of the devil.”
So if you have no work your mind becomes a devil. You are always thinking destructive things. You not only harm others but also harm yourself.
Keep yourself busy and enjoy your time with your family. Go on outings with your friends or watch movies and many more things you may explore. In which you have an interest.
We all know that covid-19 appeared to be a catastrophe for all human beings. Took many lives.
The stringent lockdown due to this pandemic struck the life cycle of people.
According to a newspaper report during the lockdown. The case of domestic violence, suicide and another type of mental disorders. Increase to 20 to 25% more than last year during this time.
This is because we are free from all the work and we have nothing to do. All past thoughts and worries ruminate in our minds.
It awakens our devil’s mind. We started quarrelling over small things. Remembering past mistakes. We started bringing bitterness in the middle of our relationship.
So instead of quarrelling. If we give this free time to us. To understand each other. We make our family life blossom.
You try these tips to enjoy lockdown.
The whole family comes together and lives in one place. Try to watch cartoons with your children and replay your past childhood thoughts.
Give quality time to your wife. Because before this, you and your wife’s daily hectic schedule of work and responsibilities of family.
Make you and your wife busy. You both could not give time to each other.
So, enjoy this free time and make yourself the king of the kitchen. And try various types of recipes.
I know it is difficult for some men because they do not know how to cook. Trust me, But your wife will like this style of yours.
4. Mastery in emotional intelligence-
Believe me, emotional intelligence is like Jin of Aladdin Chirag. If you have control of emotional intelligence. You cope with 70% of your misery.
For several years intellectuals, scholars, and Rishi Mahatma tried to find control over emotion. But they were not successful. Because they are not gods.
We all are common people. So we have some limitations. Emotions are an inbuilt feature of human beings. It makes us different from animals and machines.
Out now, emotion is the root cause of our inner conflict and inner infirmity. These causes indulge us in various types of devil activity.
Like backbite, swearing, bullying, dishonesty, abusing, ruminating about past thoughts and many more activities.
These activities rotten our minds and heart. The best antidote for this disease is understanding or mastery of emotional intelligence.
The question arises here, how do we master emotional intelligence? To master emotional intelligence first, we understand the four dimensions of emotional intelligence.
The first dimension is self-awareness knowing about ourselves is essential to understanding the emotions of others.
So self-awareness helps us to understand our emotions. Like how we react in a particular situation and how we react in Sorrow and happiness.
When we understand self-awareness. Now the time has come to move forward toward the second step, self-management.
When we understand our emotions then we should know how to control our emotions. Or manage our emotions.
When we have full control over ourselves. Now the time has come to move forward on our third step.
That is social awareness. Means knowing the emotion of others by their gestures and conversation.
When we found mastery in these three dimensions. Now we move to our fourth one.
That is relationship management. Means integrating our above three skills and trying to manage the situations.
So, by controlling our emotions. We can defeat our remunerating thoughts and negative thoughts. Which pin our hearts.
5. Live with thought, every day is a new day of life-
I would start this topic with the story of Mary. She was a housewife. Lost her husband due to an accident. Her husband had a bookstall.
Because she was a housewife, she couldn’t muster up the courage to run the bookstall. She decided to shift to her sister’s house.
But still, fate was upset with her. She got the news that her sister had cancer. This incident broke her.
On one hand, his all savings came to an end. And on the other hand, her helping hand was also difficult.
She was not in a situation to decide. What she will do. She will ruminate about past regrets.
Had she been a working woman, would not have been in this situation. If she got a good education. She does some work.
Therefore she was now standing on such a brink. That she had no hope. One day she was reading a newspaper. In which it was written, “treat every day as a new day”.
The six words changed her life. She will find a purpose in life. And will gear up for her work.
She was starting her husband’s business. In the early days, she did not find success. But the six words gave her energy to Never give up.
After a few days. She got orders from the school to sell their books from her stall. Slowly his business took off.
So, it’s better to restart your life rather than be engulfed in your fast thoughts. If she didn’t get busy with her work. No doubt she had attempted suicide.
She understands her emotions. Also, understand her sister’s emotions and the wants of the school administration.
That is why she understands the situation of her sister. And convinces the school administration to sell their books from their stall.
She understands that it is better to gear up for his work rather than burning in past thoughts and negative thoughts.
She gets busy running the shop. To distract her mind from past thoughts and negative thoughts.
So, by implementing the above 5 fire extinguishers. She copes with her bad past thoughts and negative thoughts.
Best of luck.