How to show love for your child? Ching was from a poor Chinese family. When she was ten years old. Her mother started sending her to work in the households. Ching never went to school. Her boss used to treat him badly. When she grew up, she went to Australia where she met jack. Soon both of them got married. He worked very hard and started his family by buying a small house. Jack was a taxi driver. Ching still went from house to house doing the cleaning work. She had no option. Because she was not educated.
They had two children named Martha and Tom. Ching swore that she would never let her children experience what she had in her life. She wanted to give her children a good education and life. They should not have to crave clothes and toys. Ching was determined that she would not let her children ever have to clean the mess. Now his family needed another car, so Ching started working at another job. She used to work in a supermarket at night to set up goods. She used to reach home at three o’clock at night. And because of that, she would get so tired. She could neither cook food for her children nor take them to school. So, Martha and Tom would get ready on their own.
He used to eat fast food like hamburgers and pizza. His family needed more money, so Ching took up the third job of ironing clothes over the weekend. Martha was now 17 years old. When she was young, she complained that her mother never stayed at home. Ching also tried to stay at home for a few nights but her children only used to watch TV. She thought that if the children do not talk to me, then what is the use of staying at home?
Martha left the school in the middle. And one day she left her house and started living alone somewhere else. Tom is now 16 years old. From the age of ten, he started making some kind of trouble. He had become a bully. Tom used to punch his classmates or sometimes throw bricks at neighbors’ windows. Ching felt that his son had fallen into the wrong company. The teachers said that Tom is a very troubled child. Ching and her husband decide to transfer her to a private school. They hoped that the new school would make him a disciplined boy.
They started working more to pay the school fees. But Tom continued to bully the children even in the new school. He got into more trouble. At the age of 14, he became addicted to drugs. Tom was suspended from a private school for his bad behaviour. The school management asked Ching to send Tom to a rehabilitation center. For this expense, Ching rented Martha’s room to a Korean student. But this annoyed Tom. He did not like having a stranger in the house. Tom would always say, “I hate you, I hate school, I hate everything, and even I hate myself and my life” He left school and went to work. He started as a chef. He liked this job in the beginning but Tom gave it up in the end. His negative attitude increased further.
Tim got depressed and the thought of suicide started coming to his mind. So Ching quits her job to take care of Tom. Now he had nothing else to do. Staying at home, she used to take care that her son should not kill himself. Ching was a loving, caring mother to her children. She only wanted a good life for her children. Whatever money he earned he spent on his children. But Ching could not understand how important it was to spend time with her children. She did not show her love for his child. Because she doesn’t know how to show love to her child.
She lived at home now, which was something her children wanted ten years ago. She was ten years late in doing so. Parents often say that they are working hard for their children. They want to give them a good education, a beautiful house, a nice car, new clothes, and toys. But none of this is more valuable to your child than your time and attention. Even if you don’t talk, staying at home gives your kids the feeling that you are there for them.
The guidance and discipline you can give to your children, no school can provide. When your child becomes a bully and does not perform well, changing schools will not do any good. When you’re twelve years old and your parents never live at home. You try to get a little bit of attention from anywhere, by all means. Everyone wants to feel a sense of belonging and being adopted. When a person does not get this, then he starts liking any crowd better than being alone. He tries to fill the void created by the absence of his parents by becoming a part of a gang. The child finds belonging to a gang that he could never get from his family.
As a parent, you need to make sure that you spend as much time with your kids as you can until they are 15 years old. The time you don’t spend with them while they’re young. You’ll have to spend the same amount of time repairing the damages done to them in the future. It can be difficult to tell your children that you love them, but there are many ways to show love to your child. You can leave a note on their desk or lunchbox. You can write words on any letter or birthday card. For example,
“My dear child, we are very proud of you. Sometimes, we get so busy that we forget to tell you how much we love you. But as much as you know, we are there for you. ” You matter more than anything in this world.”
Imagine that you find out that your child has been diagnosed with cancer. What do you think you will do? You will probably take action about this as soon as possible. You will find the best doctor by taking leave from the office. Now your child’s health will become your biggest priority. But what do you do in normal life? What do most parents do? They neither take leave from the office nor cancel his appointment, rather he keeps postponing meetings with teachers until he has time. So to show love for your child. You have to follow some points.
How to show love for your child?
1. Make them feel your presence.
They should feel that if no one else is there for them. Their mother and father will stand by them in all their troubles. And developing this feeling is not very difficult. Because there’s a strong knot of love between parents and their children. All that is needed is that you can tell your child that you love him a lot. Because your child is innocent. And to show love for your child. You have to listen to their words patiently. You give some time daily to your child. In which you ask about their daily activities. If they want to tell you some story of their school. Then listen to it patiently. This activity makes your house a haven. Your child’s faith in you becomes thicker day by day. And this is the best means to show love for your child.
2. Control yourself and keep patience.
Many times we are so engulfed in our life problems, mainly professional problems. That we can not take care of our family and children. We think that we do this all for them. And in the restlessness due to work. We do not behave properly with our children. The second reason why our child is a victim of violence in the house is. Because they are easy targets for both mother and father. That’s why both take out their anger on the children only. So avoid it, because it brings anger, rebellion, and doubt in their nature. Which turns them into gunpowder. Which only needs a spark.
So the best way to control yourself. Especially when you deal with your child. Treat children like children. Treat them like we treat buds. Because if you want good flowers in your bed. Then you will have to protect its buds well. Second, if you keep patience your child will feel relaxed with you. They do not hesitate to talk with you.
3. Create a special schedule.
In today’s world, we keep our family and children on the second step after work. We think that we do all this stuff for them. A good lifestyle, good food, study in a good school, and the basic amenities fulfill their need. No doubt they are essential for the good life of any child. But this only fulfills their materialistic or outer needs. Their emotional or inside needs can not be fulfilled by this. There is an old proverb.
Even a green tree dries up, if it is cursed day and night.
That means if only your child faces humiliation from all around. They can be like the tree because they do not have your love. Your love and affection give them the power to fight with the humiliation. So to make your child happy you can create a special schedule. It helps you to give time to your child. For this you can fix an hour from your daily schedule. You can have dinner with your child. Or you can make a fun schedule every weekend. You will show that for the one-hour weekend. Your child will wait for a full week. They will be excited about them. And their curiosity will bring them closer to you.
4. Pay attention to all your kids equally.
Although parents love their kids equally. But because of some circumstances. It shows that parents give more emphasis on one child than the other child. I have two children. My elder son is 7 years older than my younger son. So after the birth we took more care of our younger son. Because he did not care about himself. We were also careful about our elder son. Because he was also little. But somehow our elder son was engulfed in the thought that we did not love him and care about it. So when I started thinking about why he thought like that? I found the reason behind that was his inferiority complex and comparison.
He thought that mama and papa do not love me more, they do not care about me, and papa is more strict with me. When I saw jealousy began to grow in him. I will come on my toes. I started counseling my elder son. And started to make them realize how much we love him. For this, we made him sit on our lap, talked to him, and had fun with him. So slowly he started to come out from his inferiority complex. We explained to him that now his brother is small. He needs more care. When he was young, he was also taken care of. By this, you can show love for your child.
5. Let him know that they are special to you.
Yes, always try to make them notice. You love them and care for them. When any trouble comes in their life. You are with them. For every child, his father is the superhero. Who solves all the problems of their life. So never try to end his illusion. Because that illusion gives power to him. Whenever you get a chance, you have made him a sense of your presence. Show love for your child.
So our child is like a small plant. Which needs special care to grow up and transform into a big tree. Giving water and manure is not only enough for the small plant to grow up. It needs your special care. Such as timely manure and in specific quantities, proper sunlight, and protection from heavy rain, thunder, and sunlight. Well, that’s how we have to live with our children. They need our special care especially when they are in the age group of 10 to 15. Because at that time there are more chances of them being deceived. And only your love can show them the right path at that time. What is right and what is wrong? That is why show your love for your child to win him.
Best of luck.