How to stop bullying?
Have you ever experienced bullying? Are you the parent of a child, who is bullied by his schoolmate? And want to know how to stop bullying? Are you the teenager who is bullied by his friends? And desperately think about how to stop bullying? Don’t be disappointed. This is not a new incident that is happening to you. We all are sufferers of bullying at some point and age. I myself have suffered a lot of bullying in my school life.
Because of advanced technology and social media reach. Traditional bullying changes its forms and nature. And a new type of bullying is invented called cyberbullying. Which is totally virtual and not easy for a common person to identify who bullied them. This will make bullying an indestructible devil. So, nowadays bullying appears as a major challenge for people.
Our teenagers and youths come in a vulnerable group. Who is affected more by bullying? Bullying causes many children to commit suicide around the world. There are many ways to avoid the traps of bullying. But unfortunately, our government institutions, school administration, and organizations do not take solid and adequate steps to deal with bullying.
Today governments around the world have started making laws to catch bullies. We should no longer overlook bullying. We should not say, “It’s just a little bit of teasing and everyone does it.” Bullying leads to suicide. Numerous youths and teenagers are becoming victims of bullying. And many are mulling the end of their lives.
Many teenagers around the world think that. It is better to commit suicide than to suffer further bullying. They cannot bear any more embarrassment, pain, and humiliation. The never-ending fears, threats, and humiliations were haunting them.
The last words of many bullied children and teens are, “I didn’t want to die, but that’s the only way to end this pain.”
Why do the children not want to discuss it?
Do you think your child will tell you what’s going on? Do you think that, why children do not want to discuss bullying with their parents and teachers? Studies on bullying children show that. Only one in ten bullied children discuss being bullied with their parents. And only one in twenty bullied children discuss being bullied with their teacher. So, These are a few reasons. Why your child will never tell you about this.
First, they think that if they complain to their parents and teachers about being bullied. The incidence of bullying will be increased. They think that if they tell the parents, the situation will get worse. They are also afraid that the bully will punish them.
Second, A bullied child blames himself. He thinks that if he was not fat, ugly, skinny, stupid, or stupid, people would not make fun of him.
Third, A bullied child feels embarrassed too. If you talk with him, he thinks all the other students will laugh at him. He also thinks that. The other kids already think that he is an outcast.
Fourth, It may also happen that you become more strict or you start controlling him more. If your child is experiencing cyberbullying. He may be afraid that you will snatch his computer and phone from him. Because nowadays social media has become the life for the children.
So, they do not want to be disconnected from these things. Because doing so will leave them behind in school and will not be able to fit in there. The bullied child also thinks that it is very important for him to know all the rumors and bad comments about him. So they do not want to leave the platform of social media. And this leads to cyberbullying.
What are the signs of a bullied child?
First, such children make excuses in the beginning. Your child says he is sick. But you don’t see any such symptoms. He makes some excuse or the other for not going to school.
Second, your child does not eat or sleep properly. There will always be a tussle going on in his heart and mind. Which you will get to see in his behaviour. Like, for sleeping less, Sometimes waking up scared of falling asleep, and end of hunger.
Third, when the child returns from school there are marks of injury on his body. But he does not give a clear answer about how he got hurt. It may be that when he returns from school someone has taken his school stuff also.
Fourth, your child refuses to talk about school. Any normal child is always excited to talk about friends or do something funny in school.
Fifth, your child’s marks suddenly start getting worse. He loses interest in doing schoolwork. He will not want to go to school.
Sixth, he is always upset, sad, or angry. Not anything exits him. He is always in a blue mood. Even your presence will not affect him.
Seventh, he is often ill. He feels a headache, stomach ache, or nervousness. He look fit but go though renounter himself.
Eighth, If your child hides from you everything. They don’t show you their phone or computer. They may be cyberbullied. Getting upset when he gets an email or message is also a sign of it.
It’s easy for adults to report bullying. If you are a parent, you will not hesitate to take action. But your preschool or high school kid doesn’t feel that way. They don’t have the same confidence and understanding as you.
How to stop bullying?
To stop bullying first of all, you should try to start a conversation with him. When they relax, you should start a conversation about bullying. Telling the story of bullying from your school days. And how did you win over that? This story will help him to understand that. He is not the only one with whom this incident is happening. The same has happened to his father and he has won over him. After this, he will automatically start sharing his story with you.
Listen to your child. Don’t interrupt him, and don’t be in a hurry. Stop yourself from saying “Did he hurt you?” “I will see that bastard in school” After listening, Your initial reaction would not be to go to the school principal or the parents of the bully and fight. But take a deep breath and calm down. Your child will never share anything with you if you talk like this.
Show that you are listening to him and repeat his words to engage him. Such as, “Well, so what do you do when he makes fun of you? Hey, have you not broken his teeth?” Show the curiosity that you want to listen to his pain. And on the other hand, give him courage. By giving regular feedback.
When your child has shared everything, hug him. Tell him that my little one tolerated such and I didn’t know. Forgive me for this. Thank you for letting me know. Thank you for trusting me. I know how difficult it must have been for you. You are braver than me. Now both of us will fight this battle together and like I won. And we will win. Make him feel that he can come out of it.
Tips to the bullied child.
Bullies target the weak and try to prove that the person is worth it by saying “you are fatty”, “you are ugly”, and “you are a crying baby”. But in reality, they just want to feel powerful, they just want to show their power. Most bullies are bullied at home by their parents or siblings. They want to feel powerful once in their life. His parents beat him daily and encourage him. Therefore, bullies harass them by finding a weak target. That makes them feel good about themselves.
So, if you are being bullied. You need to understand that you are not the reason. It’s not your fault. And you don’t deserve to be treated like this. The bully doesn’t attack you because you have a problem. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. The bully attacks you because he wants to satisfy himself. Your anger, frustration, and fear give them energy and happiness.
For example, a bully may not like that you have a happy family, that there are people who love you more, that you are talented, and that you are happier than him. Here are some tips that help you to stop bullying.
1. Tell your parents.
You’ll feel better even if they don’t do anything. Your parents care about you more than anyone else. Telling someone doesn’t mean you are weak. How many times in life do we need the help of others? When you are sick you need a doctor’s help. If you are bullied, there is nothing wrong with asking someone for help.
2. Tell your friend.
The bully wants you to be quiet, alone and isolated. By telling someone, you turn the bully’s game upside down. You show bravery by telling your friend.
3. Tell your teacher.
It is the job of teachers to help you. If the first teacher you told didn’t do anything, tell the second, tell the third, and tell until someone listens to you.
4. Make fun of your bullying yourself.
The bully wants to make you angry. He wants you to argue. Don’t give him this happiness. A good technique is to agree with whatever the bully says. For example, if a bully says, ” Look, the baby elephant is going.” Then you answer, “I am not a child of an elephant, I am an elephant. Please call me an elephant from today.” By doing this the bully did not succeed and did not get what he wanted. You will start finding him boring and he will find another target.
5. Get out of that place.
When the bully starts insulting you, turn away from there. Ignore him completely. Act as if you are deaf or the bully cannot see you. Fighting or arguing in such a situation is not a good idea. Always remember that you are not at fault.
No one deserves to be a bully. No matter how you look, what you wear, or how you walk or talk. And No anyone has the right to intimidate or insult you. Basically, the bully is testing how you will react. If you cry or get angry, then the bully has won. But if they don’t get satisfaction in bullying you then they will leave you.
When a child gets into some big trouble, most parents say, “He got into the company of the wrong people!” Their initial reaction is to blame friends. But have you ever wondered why your child liked them if they were wrong? Why did he like your child? What have you done to keep your child away from the bad company?
What can you do when you see someone being bullied?
Those who see wrong happening and remain silent. While he has the power to stop it. He is more guilty than the wrongdoer.
If you do nothing, you show the bully that what he is doing is right. You are also showing the bullied child that the treatment he is being treated for is worth it. Then what should you do? You have the power to stop the bully. A child being bullied can’t do this, but you can. Say, “Please don’t bother her” or “You have no right to scare her like this.” Help the child who is being bullied.
Help him to get out of that place. Say, “Come on, let’s get out of here”, and take the bullied child with you and leave. Try to be friends with him. A smile or a pat on the back means a lot to a child. Who is scared and feels worthless. Say, “How are you feeling? Let’s have lunch together. “This small gesture can make a big difference.
Talk with the bullied child. Listen to him and show that you care about him. Help the child to talk to the teachers. Encourage them to tell your parents. Even if this incident has happened in front of you, there is still a lot you can do about it. In 2007, a new 9th-grade student in Nova Scotia, Canada arrived at school wearing a pink shirt. Other students started calling the boy “gay”.
Those people intimidated these new student and even threatened them. Two class 12 students, Travis and David, decided to do something about it. He went to the nearest discount store and bought all the pink shirts. They shared all the shirts and overnight convinced all their friends to wear pink shirts the next day. He also spread this message through email and social media.
The next morning, the school was flooded with pink colour. Thousands of students supported this campaign. The bully never harassed the new student again. More than 60 schools in Canada participated in the Pink Shirt Campaign to raise awareness against bullying. It all started because of two students who showed the courage to take a stand for that new student.
There is no doubt that bullying appears as a pandemic in society. And if you add cyberbullying to it. We cannot estimate its magnitude. If you remove small children and adults from it, then it is most fatal for teenagers. Because that is a time when they are in the transition phase. They leave the threshold of childhood and move towards becoming an adult. At this time, they have gone through many types of biological, mental, and social changes. Therefore at that time the mind of children is most vulnerable. So they can not face the blow of bullying.
So, in the answer of how to stop the bullying? We have to keep a close watch on our children. Especially when they are teenagers. They need our proper guidance, affection, and togetherness. To see the signs of sudden restlessness, anger, and sorrow in your child. Or If your child starts making excuses. When you ask a question. If you start getting marks of quarrel on his body or clothes.
And if you start getting password locks on his mobile and laptop. Or if he starts hesitating to go to school and starts making all kinds of excuses. This is time to be alert. And you should understand that alarm bells are ringing. You should talk to your child very carefully. And if you think that your child is a victim of bullying. So you should apply some further steps.
First of all, talk to your child and assure him that you are his friend rather than his mother and father. Once he has confidence in you. He will tell you everything. And it will make him feel at ease.
Second, you will give courage to your child to complain against that child. If the teacher doesn’t listen once, do it again and again. You can keep an eye on it, but avoid complaining yourself. Because if you complain, then your child will not be able to get that courage.
Third, teach your child to get out of the place. Fourth, encourage your child to counter the bully by making fun of himself.
So these are some steps that solve your question of how to stop bullying. And help your child to counter the bully. One thing we all have to keep in mind is. Whether any child who is bullied is our own or not. But we all must stop the bullying. And we have to do it. So that we can remove this evil from this society.
Best of luck.
Do the work: overcome resistance.
11 qualities to develop self-control.